Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
