there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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