She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
