That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm at about main and main street
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize