He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
