OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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