She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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