Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
