covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
