worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
