Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize