I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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