you win again, gameday.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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