just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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