You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize