Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
