I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
