the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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