Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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