What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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