Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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