Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
