I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
