All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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