You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
