White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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