so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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