you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
