My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I pour the whiskey from now on
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
