Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
