she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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