Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
