I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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