i just wanna soil my oats bro
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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