The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
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I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
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she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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