Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
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