You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
