Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
