it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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