is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
