I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
