She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
