holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
