so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
