I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
