Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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