and you said cock pushups were impossible
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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