i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize