I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
