nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I think i got beer on your cat.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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