I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
