She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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