also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
