I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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