you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize