In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
