I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
