did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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